At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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