We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Dick very happy bro
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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