My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize