Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize