oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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