the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
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Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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