Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
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We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
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I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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