I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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