I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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