it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
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I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
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In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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