I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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