she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize