did you get engaged???
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
high people should be assigned attendants
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize