Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
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I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
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I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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