my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize