Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
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Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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