i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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