I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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