weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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