Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
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