i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize