Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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