just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize