All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
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Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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