Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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