you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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