i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize