Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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