my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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