If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
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she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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