no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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