I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize