I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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