we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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