I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Drake has all the answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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