all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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