I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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