so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize