found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
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I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
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She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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