are you still at the devil's house?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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