Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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