You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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