Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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