I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize