so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize