ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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