i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize