i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
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I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
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i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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