I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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