i just wanna soil my oats bro
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Randomize